Friday, December 30, 2011

Football Season: Manning as God and Shotgun Suicides

In typical Sunday fashion, much of the day’s conversations revolve around pregame, who’s in/out, the actual games, fantasy teams and… well… this shit. Enjoy.

Z: Jimmy Johnson’s stupidity is leaking through his mouth on this pregame show. I think hey may have brain damage…

Me: I think he’s just trying to be the next GOP candidate.

Z: I want to viciously murder Frank Caliendo. No jury would convict me.

Me: Haha I don’t think anyone would be too upset.

Z: Bradshaw clearly hates him and I love it.

I wouldn’t even try to make it look like an accident. Cops would be like “I didn’t see anything.”

Me: “I don’t know how he shot himself in the head with a shot gun but uh yeah… clearly suicide.”

Z: “Must have pulled the trigger with his toe. Case closed. Mexican for lunch?”


And later…


Z: If the Chargers get Tebowed I’m gonna Caliendo myself.

Me: Hahaaa

Z: I wish he would really go all out with his TD celebrations, full crucifixion…

Me: Stigmata included.

Z: With railroad ties.

Me: We are going to be forced to watch Tebow clips for all eternity when we get to hell.

Z: Hey, if he gets hit by a fat bitch on a rascal while praying about the nickel he found in the parking lot, so be it.

Me: Pretty sure God isn’t worried about him winning football games.

Z: We all know God is a Cowboys fan…

Me: He’s definitely not a Detroit fan. That’s for sure.

Actually if you think about it, I’m pretty sure Peyton Manning may be God.

Z: He used to be a Miami fan… until somebody told him that dolphins are just like gay sharks and he’s totally not cool with that.

Pfft if Manning was God he would have rehabbed that neck a little bit faster…

Me: He’s just teaching the team they need him to avoid being Al Davis’d

Z: Just win, baby?

Me: Not without Manning. Not even once.

Z: …you complete me haha

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