But just like everyone who thought Tebow was done for the season, I was wrong. So horrifically and utterly wrong.
I still don't understand what it is about the mall that causes brain cells to seemingly evaporate. Come to a complete stop and flip that baby stroller sideways in the middle of a major walkway? Sure. Wander aimlessly side to side with a coveted Cinnabon? Yep. Bend down to tie your shoelace, exposing your plumber's crack/inducing a gag reflex to everyone on the planet? You betcha. Watch helplessly as your toddler embodies the most insane display of humanity during an emotional breakdown? Yeahhhhhh buddy!
However, you sir, with the Hammer pants paired oh so fittingly with a Ralph Lauren pull over and Crocs? Yeah. You were my favorite. But then, you just had to out do yourself by literally walking in circles within the same 3 foot radius with the most "dear, God, help me" look I've ever seen before wandering into Forever 21. Whatever you were shopping for, at whichever store... I really... REALLY... hope someone just demolished your face with some sort of fashion sense bat, club, rock, mallet, etc. Because your presence is public is really doing humanity an overwhelming amount of disservice.
/rant.
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