My Insurance Company Is Breaking Up With Me

I decided that I'm going to update this more often. Posts will probably shorter but highly reliable sources indicate that anyone who actually reads this crap would probably prefer that. Good deal.

Anyway.

In the wonderful world of the interwebs, I've learned you can pretty much get an email update for everything under the damn sun, moon and celestial beings. Personally, I'm totally amped on email reminders because I honestly can't remember to pay for shit. I'd probably lose my head if it wasn't attached to my neck! Har har! ::insert knee slap::

This morning I see that my car insurance has ever so kindly sent me an email. I notice it's from GEICO and automatically think, "Oh... YOU. You want monies, don't you? That's all you ever want from me." But before I can even finish that thought in my brain waves, I see the word "cancellation" in the subject line. Now, it's entirely possibly I completely missed the boat on my last payment; it's happened before. To my defense, if the company would fix their sketchy online payment system I'd probably fix my sketchy payment schedule.

Email's open. Sure enough, it's a formal warning of my impending policy cancellation that's going to hit mid-month due to non payment. Now I have to sifting through my emails to find all the other crap GEICO sent me to figure out when my bill was due and how late I'll be on paying it.

Cool. Payment is due on September 28th. Today is September... 28th. Uh.

So, GEICO, your little green friend here is basically telling me that you're just anticipating my epic payment failure? Shit, man, how am I supposed to feel about that? I mean, yeah, I was a little late on a few payments but we have HISTORY. Does that mean nothing to you? I now have to pay my bill early in order for it to not be late? I don't care how cute the gecko is; stop using that bastard to soften the blow of bad news. Criminy.

Why don't you just send me my next reminder 4 weeks ahead of time with a subject of Don't Fuck This Up? Child, please.



Douche.

Oh and I sincerely apologize to whoever reads the replies to the automated emails over there. I realize "WTF?" may have not been entirely appropriate.